6/4/2023 0 Comments Embrace the suck meaning![]() He didn't come back and my daughter and I left to take him home. While the storm raged outside we tried to go to church, but my son ended up leaving part way through to dissolve in a fit of tears in the car. I would never get that chance and am still in the process of trying to accept that. And while I had come to accept that we would have never worked out and the things he had done to the kids and myself would never allow us to get back together in this life, I NEVER stopped hoping and praying that my prayers on his behalf would be answered while we still had time here on earth. My ex never had enough time here to fix things. I just kept saying over and over that they had been through too much, how could God ask them to go through more? It wasn't okay. He nodded, took me into his arms and didn't say anything. ![]() To see the hurt etched in their faces and the tears welling up in their eyes knowing there is NOTHING you can ever do as a parent to dull that pain. That NOTHING is worse than seeing your kids go through something like this. I went downstairs and blurted out to my boyfriend that it wasn't fair and I couldn't stand to see the kids hurt that way. I left the room and took my time to softly cry. When my daughter hung the last ornament on the tree, I lost it. We were all numb and I could tell no one wanted to do this. Trying to be strong, I pitched in to help them, but it was no use. I knew that the kids were struggling as i saw them decorate their Dad's tree for his grave. And then he would quietly go about his chores, allowing me to tend to the kids or go back to mine. So he did the best thing he knew how to do.he just took me in a hug, or softly laid a kiss on my forehead and told me I was doing okay and the kids and I were going to be okay and he was there if I needed him. My poor boyfriend was trying to keep me in good spirits while helping with some house projects that needed to be done but he could quickly tell I was struggling and if one word was said to me I was going to collapse in a state of tears. Sunday quickly became an "embrace the suck" kind of a day. When we are struggling, we stop to ask each other, "are you doing okay?" I'm not sure who or when the phrase "embrace the suck" came about but it happened awhile ago and seems to be the general phrase used when our family is having a tough day and that impending storm comes in with trumpets blaring. And while we know the storm won't last long, it's a definite sign that the day will be long and will be very dark. There are days we desperately try to hold on to whatever shred of sun we can, but we can see that wall of clouds and darkness coming towards us. Until then, find a home for your armor, and I’ll see you in the arena.This picture definetely sums up our life right now. And if you want to call these “soft skills” after you’ve tried putting them into practice-go for it. We just haven’t had the courage for real talk about courage. The skill sets that make up courage are not new they’ve been aspirational leadership skills for as long as there have been leaders. We have to be vigilant about creating a culture in which people feel safe, seen, heard, and respected. To scale daring leadership and build courage in teams and organizations, we have to cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations, and whole hearts are the expectation, and armor is not necessary or rewarded. Our armor-the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when we aren’t willing and able to rumble with vulnerability-move us out of alignment with our values, corrode trust with our colleagues and teams, and prevent us from being our most courageous selves. The greatest barrier to courageous leadership is not fear-it’s how we respond to our fear. Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability. ![]() The foundational skill set of courage-building is “rumbling with vulnerability.” Once we have built these rumbling skills, we can move on to the other three skill sets: Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, and Learning to Rise. Embrace the suck.ĭaring leadership is a collection of four skill sets that are 100% teachable, observable, and measurable. You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.Here are a few of the big ideas that emerged from this research: The goal of Dare to Lead is to share everything we’ve learned about taking off the armor and showing up as leaders in a skills-based and actionable playbook. I’ve spent twenty years studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, and I recently completed a seven-year study on brave leadership. ![]()
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